One of the many needs of human beings is to seek happiness. After all, who doesn’t want to be happy right? I’ve often come across people telling me that their goal is either to seek happiness or to be happier. My question to them is always “How will you know once you have achieved this goal?”. You see, happiness isn't something tangible of which its existence can be measured. Happiness is a state of mind, and like all other states of mind, it’s is a feeling that can be evoked at any given time should you choose to. Therefore, the focus of a goal shouldn’t be to achieve a certain state of mind, it should instead be to do or to achieve the things that will eventually evoke the desired state of mind. For example, if the desired state is happiness, then the goal should be to do and to achieve the things that will bring happiness. It could be getting that much deserving promotion; a big year end bonus; having enough to finally buy that dream car; the birth of a child; or maybe something as simple as watching a beautiful sunrise. These things can be anything, the bottom line is that doing or achieving these things will bring about the desired state of happiness.
One of the best actions you can take to create happiness in yourself is to create happiness in others. Creating for others will almost instantaneously start a chain reaction that will lead you to feeling good about yourself. It really is as simple as that. The secret is to know that within you lies the power to make a positive difference for another person. What you say and do will have an impact on others, and it can either be positive or negative. When you successfully evoke a positive state in others, you will automatically evoke this state in yourself too.
Here are 3 simple things you can do right away to create a positive state in others:
1. Acknowledge Others
Take the first step to smile and greet others, be it to someone that you know or to a complete stranger. While you’re at it, give them a compliment. Tell them something nice about the way they look, or about an item in their possession, or about a positive behaviour they have exhibited. Doing so will show the other person that you have noticed them and this for them is a validation of their existence. Think about the times we ourselves might have felt invisible. Wouldn’t it have been nice if someone had noticed us? Be that someone for others.
2. Show Gratitude
Make it a habit of showing gratitude to the people around you. Show them that you’re thankful for the things that they have done for you. Showing gratitude to a person can be as simple as just saying “Thank You” followed by letting them know what they did that you’re thankful for. The key here is to be instantaneous about it. The mistake we commonly make is that we think the other party knows that we are thankful and we delay showing gratitude. Remember, people aren’t mind readers. If you feel it then let them know it by showing it.
3. It’s The Small Things That Make Big Differences
Perform small acts of kindness throughout the day. Hold the door open for the person behind you, be the first to help someone pick an item they dropped, share an umbrella with a stranger, give way to a fellow driver, and the list can go on. Simply said, start taking the time to do the little things that you haven’t been doing for others.
Start putting into practice the 3 points I’ve stated above and expect to see a difference in others as well as in yourself. Notice that your day will become livelier and more eventful. Be the catalyst for creating for others and in return others will create for you too.
NLP & Hypnotherapy Trainer (ABNLP & ABH), Director of JIT & Company (Singapore)
Copyright © 2014 by Jitrendra Purushothaman. All Rights Reserved